The Menopause Mind: Navigating Brain Fog, Anxiety & Emotional Changes

lynsey635
Jul 2
6 min read

Updated: Aug 14

Ever felt like your thoughts are scattered, your mood unpredictable, or your focus slipping through your fingers?

If you’re in perimenopause or menopause, you’re not imagining it.

The hormonal shifts of this transition don’t just affect your body, they reshape your brain. That’s why brain fog, anxiety, and emotional ups and downs are so common.

I want you to know: you’re not broken or going crazy!

You’re experiencing a powerful neurological shift not a personal failing. With the right mix of knowledge, support, and fierce compassion, you can move from surviving to truly glowing again.

Why I Care So Deeply About This

For me, the emotional and psychological shifts women experience during the menopause transition are where my true passion lies.

I’ve been a mental health professional for over 16 years, but it wasn’t until about seven years ago that I truly recognised the unique and delicate balance of women’s mental health despite it being right in front of me.

The biological changes of menopause can have a profound impact on brain function and emotional wellbeing. While we still need far more research, we’re fortunate to have brilliant scientists like Dr. Lisa Mosconi, who is leading the way in showing how hormonal shifts affect the female brain.

And yes I’ve been completely fan-girling over her work! I’ve poured over her research because it brings science, clarity, and validation to what so many women feel but can’t quite explain. Her findings show how declining estrogen during menopause doesn’t just change our bodies - it influences mood regulation, memory, cognitive performance, and resilience.

For too long, women have been let down by gaps in health education, leaving us to make sense of our symptoms alone. Things are improving and knowledge is a powerful first step in replacing shame or self-blame with compassion and informed action.

Glow Science

Did you know that women are twice as likely as men to experience anxiety or low mood and that this difference often begins as early as puberty?

Research from neuroscientist Sarah McKay, with whom I’ve had the joy of training, and brain health expert Dr. Lisa Mosconi shows that these emotional ups and downs often deepen during the menopause transition, when estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate or drop significantly.

Estrogen isn’t just about reproductive health - it’s a major regulator of the brain’s mood circuits. It supports confidence, social connection, and emotional balance by boosting neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine.

When estrogen dips, many women find themselves more vulnerable to negative self-talk, rumination, and anxiety.

I see this reflected daily in my clients: the brain fog, racing thoughts, and emotional overwhelm that can come with this hormonal shift. But understanding these changes through science helps us realise it’s not “just in your head”, it’s biology.

Takeaway:

Menopause affects more than hormones. It reshapes how your brain works. Lower estrogen can increase anxiety and negative thinking, but by tuning into your body and mind with self-care and support, you can navigate this transition with greater ease and emotional balance.

The Two Parts of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion isn’t just about being “kind to yourself.” Psychologist Kristin Neff describes two essential forms: tender self-compassion, which soothes and comforts, and fierce self-compassion, which protects, motivates, and takes action.

During menopause, fierce compassion is often the missing piece. Too many women feel stuck, silenced, or overwhelmed. It’s not enough to simply “be gentle” - we also need the courage to speak up for our needs, set boundaries, seek help, and challenge outdated narratives around women’s health.

This balance between tenderness and fierceness is at the heart of how I work with my clients. I help women recognise and honour their struggles while also equipping them with the tools, mindset, and confidence to take empowered action. It’s not about making huge changes overnight - it’s about making choices, moment by moment, that improve your quality of life day to day.

And you can start today. Here’s how:

Tender acceptance - Meeting Yourself with Care

This is about turning toward your struggle with warmth, rather than judgment.

Naming Your Feelings – Acknowledging your emotions rather than suppressing them.
Self-Kindness – Speaking to yourself as you would a close friend.
Common Humanity – Remembering that you’re not alone; many women experience these challenges.
Mindfulness – Noticing pain without letting it consume or define you.

Try it now: The next time you catch yourself being self-critical, stop and replace it with one kind sentence you’d say to someone you love

Fierce Compassion – Taking Empowered Action

This is about channelling self-compassion into practical steps that protect and support you.

Courage – Setting boundaries and making choices that support your well-being.
Values Alignment – Taking actions that reflect what truly matters to you.
Resilience – Meeting challenges with strength and determination.

Try it now: Pick one boundary - big or small - that you will set this week to protect your time, energy, or emotional health.

The menopause transition can feel like a time of loss, but it’s also an opportunity for reclamation. Pairing tenderness with fierceness allows you to validate your experience while stepping into your power so you don’t just survive this stage, you truly glow through it, one intentional, life-improving step at a time.

If You’re Struggling with Anxiety or Brain Fog…

Cycle-Syncing: During the hormonal fluctuations of MT, track your cycle and plan self-care strategies around when estrogen drops, usually around your period or the MT. Rest, nourishing foods, and gentle movement can help mitigate some of the emotional impact.

Replace it with positive affirmations: Dr. Mosconi highlights how our brain health is deeply connected to the stories we tell ourselves. During menopause, that critical inner voice can get louder, making it easy to spiral into negative thinking, but small shifts really do make a difference.

I encourage my clients to notice when negative thoughts pop up, and gently challenge them with kind, realistic affirmations instead. It’s not about “forcing” positivity, but about training your brain to focus on what’s true and helpful.

Remember, being kind to yourself is one of the strongest tools you have and every time you choose compassion over criticism, you’re supporting your brain’s health and resilience.

Stop Rumination: When you catch yourself ruminating on negative thoughts, give yourself permission to pause and process emotions, but don’t get stuck in the cycle. This pause will help you to focus on solutions and practical steps forward. Try mindfulness or journaling to help release repetitive thought patterns.

Focus on Brain Health: Hormonal changes during perimenopause can cause cognitive changes like brain fog and difficulty concentrating. Make brain-healthy choices, including omega-3-rich foods, regular physical exercise, and stress reduction techniques like meditation or yoga. I want to emphasise the importance of protecting the brain during menopause by staying active, eating nutrient-dense foods, and maintaining strong social connections.

Human Connection: Emotional support during menopause is critical. Never underestimate the importance of social connection to preserve cognitive and emotional health. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a coach who understands the complexities of menopause. Connection buffers against the emotional stress and cognitive decline associated with this stage of life.

Reignite with Reflection: Coaching questions to spark insight and clarity

In what areas of your life (e.g. family, work, self-worth) are you feeling the most emotionally impacted by menopause right now?

What coping strategies (healthy or otherwise) are you currently using to manage these challenges? What’s working, and what might need adjusting?

What support do I most need, and what’s one step I can take to get it?

One Small Spark - The spark of compassion

This month, try one small spark from here to support your wellbeing.

Remember: consistency beats intensity. One small spark, done daily, can create real change. This month, choose from one of these simple practices, like

Speak to Yourself Like You Would a Friend - When self-criticism creeps in, pause and ask: “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
This is tender compassion - meeting yourself with care. Then take it one step further: ask, “What action can I take to honour my needs today?” That’s fierce compassion.
Set One Boundary That Protects Your Energy - Compassion isn’t passive - it’s protective. Whether it’s saying no to an extra task or carving out time for rest, choose one boundary that helps you honour your emotional wellbeing.
Choose a 'Power Word' for the Week- Pick a word that reflects both kindness and strength - like grace, bold, or steadfast. Use it as a reminder to hold yourself gently while also showing up with courage and intention.

Start small, stay steady and watch your glow return.

Kindling Corner: A spark to help fuel your understanding, self-care, or healing.

Looking for more guidance? These expert resources are ones we love & will help you navigate menopause with science-backed insights and real-life strategies