Connection & Menopause – Finding Your People Again
- lynsey635
- Jul 3
- 4 min read
Updated: Aug 15
Why We Crave Closeness During Menopause — And Why It’s Okay to Step Back Too
I’ll be honest, I’m an introvert at heart. I’ve always loved deep, meaningful conversations, but I’ve also needed plenty of space to recharge.
During my own menopause transition, I noticed something shift. Sometimes I craved more solitude than ever before. Other times, I longed for rich, nourishing connection, but found my usual social circles didn’t always meet that need.
Nearly every client I work with tells me a similar story: “I feel like a terrible friend, mother, partner, or colleague… I just don’t have the capacity for them anymore.”
If that’s you, I want you to know you’re not broken. You’re not failing. This is part of the transition. And you can learn to navigate it with clarity and confidence.
Why This Happens
It’s not just mood swings or sleep deprivation. Estrogen and progesterone, the hormones that have quietly shaped our emotional processing and social bonding for decades start to decline. Without them, your tolerance for certain dynamics can shrink, and your craving for others can intensify.
In my EMBERS®-based menopause coaching, I call this social recalibration. When you understand the biology, you stop blaming yourself and start making intentional choices about who and what gets your energy.
3 Practical Shifts to Build (or Protect) Your Circle
Plan ahead for Connection
Don’t leave your social wellbeing to chance. Schedule a walk, call a friend, book the lunch. Just like your workouts or appointments, connection deserves a spot in your diary.
Do they Charge or Drain You?
Use this simple question after each interaction: Has this increased my body mind battery or drained it? That’s your compass. Some people nourish you. Some deplete you. As you walk away from the interaction, your energy is the clue.
Let go of the Guilt around social pruning
You’re not a bad friend, partner, or colleague for needing space. Setting boundaries isn’t about rejection, it’s about protecting your wellbeing. Think of it as gently pruning your social garden, creating room not just for healthier connections but also for nurturing your relationship with yourself.
Glow Science
A little science to make sense of your symptoms.
Maintaining strong social connections isn’t just good for the soul, it actually influences our brain chemistry in powerful ways.
One key player is oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” Oxytocin is essential for bonding, trust, and emotional closeness. When we engage in meaningful social interactions, our bodies release oxytocin, which can help lower stress levels and boost feelings of wellbeing.
During menopause, these positive social connections become even more important. Research shows that having a supportive social network can act as a buffer against psychological distress, helping women manage mood fluctuations and other challenges that often accompany this transition. Women with strong social ties tend to report better mental health and greater resilience, allowing them to navigate menopause with more ease and confidence.
In short: nurturing your connections is a glowing act of self-care one that supports both your emotional and physical health during this pivotal time
Client Story
*Sarah described menopause as “emotional noise cancellation.”
Small talk suddenly felt exhausting, and her patience for draining relationships was gone. She worried she was becoming selfish.
Through our coaching sessions, Sarah learned that setting boundaries wasn’t about shutting people out it was about protecting her wellbeing. We worked on gently challenging her guilt and creating a clear “connection compass.”
She reconnected with two old friends who really got her, and together they began daily walks, shared self-care check-ins, and swapped nourishing recipes. Those friendships became her emotional anchor and she no longer apologised for saying “no” to what didn’t serve her
*changed for anonymity
One Small Spark
One Small Spark - The spark in a conversation
This month, try one small spark from here to support your wellbeing. Small steps like these can strengthen your connections and support your wellbeing.
Remember: consistency beats intensity. One small spark, done daily, can create real change. This month, choose from one of these simple practices:
Message the friend you’ve been thinking about - A simple hello can rekindle a connection and lift both your spirits.
Schedule that coffee you’ve been postponing - Make time for meaningful conversation and shared moments that recharge you.
Or say “no” to a catch-up that doesn’t feel right for you - Honouring your boundaries creates space for the relationships that truly nourish you.
Start small, stay steady, and watch your glow return.
Your Next Step: Try the Connection Audit
If you’re ready to see exactly which relationships are charging or draining you - and how to reset your circle without guilt download my Connection Audit worksheet.
It’s a simple, 10-minute exercise that’s helped countless clients gain clarity and make space for the relationships that truly support them through midlife and menopause.
Reignite with Reflection: Coaching questions to spark insight and clarity
Which relationships in your life energise your mind and body, and which ones tend to drain your energy?
When I spend time with [Name], I usually feel [emotion or state]. What does that feeling reveal to me about that relationship?
If you had just 30 minutes this week for a catch-up, who would you choose to spend it with? (And remember, it’s perfectly okay to choose yourself!)
Kindling Corner: A spark to help fuel your understanding, self-care, or healing.
Looking for more guidance? These expert resources are ones we love & will help you navigate menopause with science-backed insights and real-life strategies
TAKE THE NEXT STEP
Are You Ready To Feel Supported?
If you read this and thought “this is me”, then we should talk.
My 1:1 EMBERS® coaching are designed to help women like you navigate the emotional and psychological shifts of menopause with clarity, confidence, and compassion.
Reply to this email or click here to book a free clarity call.
