Juggling Life and Menopause? Here’s Why I’m Obsessed with Spoons.

If you’re navigating perimenopause or menopause right now, you might be feeling like your body and energy are doing their own thing, sometimes unpredictable and definitely not what you expected. Maybe you’re juggling work, family, social life, and trying to hold it all together, but somehow it feels harder than before, and you can’t quite put your finger on why.

Well, this is exactly why I’m kind of obsessed with spoons right now. No, not the cutlery kind the Spoon Theory kind! It’s a simple but surprisingly powerful way to make sense of what’s happening to your energy and why some days feel like a full marathon and others like a slow crawl.

What is the Spoon Theory?

Originally created by Christine Miserandino to explain life with chronic illness, the Spoon Theory uses spoons as a metaphor for units of energy. Imagine you start your day with a certain number of spoons — each task, decision, or interaction “costs” you a spoon. When you run out, you have nothing left to give.

Now, I want to be clear: I’m not saying the menopause transition is a chronic illness. But like chronic illness, it involves a shift in how your body manages energy, and it requires new ways of understanding and managing that energy.

In perimenopause, your body is working hard to find a new balance of homeostasis and this means your usual energy levels and responses are changing. What used to feel easy might now feel draining. Your “spoon count” might feel lower, and that’s okay.

What I see with clients, and in myself!

Many women I work with, and myself included, experience this energy shift in very real ways. High-achieving women often come to coaching feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and confused by how their bodies seem to be “betraying” their usual drive and stamina.

They tell me things like, “I used to manage everything so well, now I’m exhausted halfway through the day,” or “I don’t know how to ask for help because I’m used to doing it all.”

I’ve felt this too, the internal battle between wanting to keep going full steam ahead, and the body whispering (or sometimes shouting) that it needs rest and recalibration. It’s tough.

Why is this important for high-achieving women?

If you’re someone used to powering through, ticking off to-do lists, and giving 110%, this shift can feel like a personal challenge. It might feel frustrating or even scary when your body tells you to slow down but your mind wants to keep going.

High achievers (AKA Women) often struggle because they’re so used to pushing past limits, that learning to respect this new energy map can feel like giving in. But it’s not about giving up or just coping, it’s about practising fierce compassion for yourself as you transition.

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How can you start practising the Spoon Theory?

Awareness:

Take a look at your typical day and week. Where are your spoons going? What tasks take the most energy? What drains you unexpectedly? Just noticing this is the first step.

Tracking:

You might even keep a simple spoon diary for a few days how many spoons you start with, what you spend them on, and when you feel low.

Prioritising your spoons:

Not all spoons are equal. Some tasks are non-negotiable, others can be delegated, postponed, or simplified. Prioritise what truly matters to you and be willing to say no to the rest. Protect your energy for things that nourish and align with your values.

Gaining more spoons:

Yes, you can also build your energy reserves! Gentle movement, nourishing food, restful sleep, connection with others, and mindful breathing can all help replenish your spoons. It’s not about pushing harder but nurturing your body and mind to recover and grow stronger.

Compassionate Practice:

This isn’t about limiting yourself or giving in. It’s about learning what your new energy needs are and working with them, not against them. Remember, this is a practice. Some days you’ll feel better, some days less so.

Gentle Adjustment:

Over time, you can start making small changes to protect your spoons saying no, prioritising rest, asking for help, or simply pacing yourself differently.

Perimenopause and menopause are transitions, and like any journey, it takes time to learn the new rhythm. The Spoon Theory can be your map to understanding and honouring your body’s changing needs without judgment.

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Remember: This isn’t about giving up or just “putting up” with things. It’s about showing up for yourself with fierce compassion and commitment to thriving in this new chapter.

So, start today. Notice your spoons.

Be kind to your energy.

And trust that with practice, you can find your balance again.

Lynsey x