Is Your Freezer (and Your Nervous System) Frozen?

Let’s Talk Functional Freeze 

Women often come to me with a quiet, sometimes desperate sense of disconnection.They’ll say things like:“I’m just not feeling anything anymore.”“I’m functioning, but it’s like I’m not there.”“I’m doing everything for everyone… but I feel nothing inside.”

Don’t get me wrong; they’re still showing up. Working, caregiving, supporting friends, doing all the things. But it’s all on autopilot. Joy, excitement, even sadness, they’ve all quietly left the building.

When I hear this, I know we’re talking about something deeper.We’re talking about what I call functional freeze.

What Is Functional Freeze?

It’s one of the four stress responses our body turns to when it feels overwhelmed or under threat. You’ve probably heard of:

• Fight (irritation, anger),

  
  

• Flight (busyness, overworking),

• Fawn (people-pleasing, constantly meeting others’ needs),

But Functional Freeze is the quiet one. The invisible one. And during perimenopause or menopause, it shows up in sneaky ways. You’re not hiding under the duvet; you’re functioning. But your nervous system has gone into power-saving mode. Your body's energy budget is overdrawn, and the system is shutting down to cope.

Your body thinks it’s in survival mode. That means even sitting still feels stressful. Tasks become overwhelming. Prioritising feels impossible.

Rest feels like stress!

And here’s the thing: you can’t just snap out of it. If we try to blast through the freeze with a blowtorch of productivity or pressure, we risk further damage, burnout, breakdown, or both. We need to defrost gently.

Let’s Talk Freezers…

Here’s where the freezer metaphor comes in.Think about your trusty kitchen freezer. It does its job quietly, day after day. Until one day, it’s jammed full of half-used bags of peas and that forgotten frozen turkey crown. You can’t close the door properly. Maybe someone (naming no names, AKA Grace) left it ajar while rummaging for a Magnum, and now… you’ve got a frost situation.

Life is like that, too.

We don’t always notice how slowly the build-up happens. How little by little, we stop checking in with our own needs. How our hormones shift, our roles change, and we just keep going. Until one day, we realise we’re frozen. Numb. Completely full and not in a good way.

It’s Time to Defrost: Start With an Inventory

Just like defrosting a freezer, this is the perfect time to take stock of what’s inside.Clear out the things that no longer serve you the forgotten bag of frozen parsnips, the lone garden peas rattling around at the bottom.

In real life? That might mean old habits, outdated roles, and commitments that drain you.

Ask yourself:

• What parts of your life truly nourish you?

  
  

• What are the essentials that need replenishing?

  
  

• Where can you create just a little space to restore your energy?

  
  

Because this next season isn’t just about resting it’s about reconnecting. Connecting your energy input to your output in a way that supports you not depletes you.

When we stop running on autopilot and start being intentional, we don’t just survive; we thrive!

See our IG for 3 Tips to help you start your defrost