Finding the right tribe

Not feeling very social maybe you just need to find the right tribe?

Back in August, I wrote We Move and shared that I was struggling with movement both physically and mentally feeling like I had become a little stuck. I had fallen out of long-term love of exercise, and I knew this was beginning to affect my mental health. As a huge advocate for exercise with my clients, I knew this was where I needed to focus my energy and ACT.  

I shared a commitment with you to make a change by seeking out ways to ignite my love of exercise again and that is how it all started but not where it ended…

I started on a 6week program with BC Fitness in Carlisle my idea was to get back to regular exercise, learn a new exercise routine and then go on my merry way back to solo training. After all, outside of work, I’m a bit of an introvert and I’m happy by myself, that’s what restores me, and I can find social situations pretty hard so a community-focused gym was honestly terrifying. 

It was so hard to walk through the door on the first Monday and my judgements of a “clicky, pretentious, Insta gym environment” were definitely getting in my way. But I put on my big girl pants and 3-2-1 deep breathed through the door. 

I can honestly say within 5mins of being in the gym I was made to feel completely welcome and reassured by Ben, John, Mikey and all the existing clients without exception. No funny looks, no standoff vibes, just smiles, hellos and let me show you where to put your stuff and what to do next. 

Over the weeks I have realised that yes, the team is there to create physical and mental change but alongside this, they are creating a community that genuinely welcomes everyone.  I know research shows being part of a community can have a positive effect on mental health and emotional well-being. Community involvement provides a sense of belonging and social connectedness. It can also offer extra meaning and purpose to everyday life. 

Spending time in a positive community can mean you begin to experience a healthier mindset, improved self-worth, and greater enjoyment of life, even when you’re an introvert like me. 

I have always built a safety net for my physical and mental health by spending time with my family, exercising, working, learning, and watching trash TV, but never through a community in this way. So, thank you to the whole BC Fitness Community for the welcome and also for challenging me to be a little more social, which has to be a PB for me. I think you may be stuck with me!

If like me, you are thinking of seeking out a new community, but your brain is the biggest barrier try some of these:

“I’m not very social” 

Challenge your limiting beliefs– maybe like me you just hadn’t found your tribe, don’t let your judgments or past experiences prevent you from exploring 

“It will be too awkward to go there” 

Be brave– maybe it will, no one can force you to go again but maybe it will be great and you’ll love it

“What if I don’t fit it”

Tell your brain to pipe down - that’s a natural evolutionary thought process we all want to be accepted in some way; in the past, it was important to help us stay alive as we needed a community to survive. But although fitting in does feel positive remember it's no longer life or death. 

If all else fails put on your big girl pants, breathe, count 3-2-1 and walk through the door! (P.S. Just in case you're wondering that's not my ass!)