Do you engage in Fat Talk?

Trigger warning - Body Image

"Look at you, you hardly need to go to the gym, I thought you’d be over that by now,” a “friend,” said to me the other day when we were discussing my routine of going to the gym several times a week. 

This talk made me think, do we believe body issues should just go away as we get older, and we should no longer care what our body looks like. 

As a teenager of the 90s raised on Super models think… Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell, and Heidi Klum, I have lived up to these “images of beauty” most of my life. I appreciate the images may have changed but the thoughts haven’t changed for the generations that have followed.

I started reflecting on how much women talk about weight, body image, eating, calories, being good, having a sin day and all the mind worms that can support body dissatisfaction.

From myself and working with women I know there are many reasons to suspect that body image in adult women may differ from and possibly be more complex than that of younger women. Adult women face myriad factors influencing body image beyond those we might have experienced in adolescents. As women age we are up against it, age-related physiological changes shift our female body further away from the thin-young-ideal, which is the societal standard of female beauty. 

Add this to the merry-go-round of life priorities and psychological factors that evolve with age as well. As such, adult women encounter changes that may differentially affect body image across the lifespan.

It’s no surprise to any woman that body dissatisfaction can play havoc with our psychological well-being but the effects of body dissatisfaction are not limited to our mind; body dissatisfaction also negatively impacts health behaviours/outcomes, such as increased unhealthy weight control behaviours, stress, smoking behaviours, and reduced physical activity. In fact data tells us body dissatisfaction across the lifespan in women often remains stable throughout middle life and late life.

In my experience  “fat talk” definitely remains the same over the lifespan. This was a term coined by Nichter and Vuckovic, and it refers to dialogue that implicitly or explicitly promotes the thin ideal. One study showed that even minimal exposure to fat talk (i.e., 3–5 minutes) can significantly impact body dissatisfaction. I know for some this type of talk can feel like it is a way to bond or show solidarity.

“Fat Talk” goes something like this 

“I’m going to be good and not have cake today”

“I’m nowhere near as thin as I used to be”

“I wouldn’t dare get on any scales after this weekend”

“I have a proper “Mum belly” now.

Participants in the study also reported that they were significantly more likely to find themselves in fat talk situations as compared to those with accepting or positive body talk. Women show a lower vocabulary for positive self-love words than negative ones!

Unsurprisingly the results also showed that women across the lifespan reported engaging in “fat talk” and this remained stable through midlife. 

So how can we turn towards accepting or positive body talk, it often requires a lifetime of unlearning, and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight and for me, it’s a work in progress.

Remember we’ve probably been listening to this most of our lives and from everywhere! In school, from our friends, Mums, sisters, and aunts. On social media, in the staff room, in the gym or on every magazine cover. It’s our go-to language, but we can change it and surely there are better ways to show solidarity to ourselves and our friends!

• Commit to no longer participating in fat talk or commenting on other women’s bodies in ways that put you down or generate comparisons. 

• Focus on nourishing your body, moving it and considering the health benefits. Rather than focusing on restricting your diet to lose weight or working out solely to burn calories. For me, it is 50:25:25 mental health, body composition, long term health.

• Re-right the story as if you were thinking of a friend. Start by noticing the stories that go through your head about your appearance each day, acknowledge them then positively re-write them. 

For most women, they’d never criticize a friend the way they criticize themselves — and if they did, they wouldn’t have friends for very long!

Support - 

Mental health Foundation  -  Tips to improve body image

Be Real Campaign   Changing attitudes to body image